A few Sunday's ago, Pastor Michelle played a song at church that absolutely captivated me, and moved me to tears. It's the cry of my heart, the perfect description of how I feel each and every day.
It's so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life, to fight and fight and fight, only to feel like you've lost the battle before you even began. It's amazing how much your perspective can change when you really learn that you cannot survive without total dependancy on God. Without Him strengthening me each day, I would not be okay right now, I would not be able to wake up each morning with a smile on my face and joy on my heart, and I certainly wouldn't be able to put more than my all into my job and relationships.
God, thankfully, is so merciful that He grants me strength when I am weak. No matter how far down I've fallen, His strength revitalizes me when I am faithful. I don't think I'd ever experienced pushing forward to totally pursue His will when I had no strength left even to get up that day. It was the most amazing feeling, and I am even happier that God chose to bless me with amazing conversations later that night with friends to carry me through. There's something to be said about a relationship where two friends can always be completely honest with one another, even if they know the truth is going to sting a little bit. I am so much more grateful to friends who point out the bitter truth, rather than friends who try to make me feel better with sugar-coated words.
Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me
Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me
- Saviour Please, Josh Wilson